THIRD

I did write about bad luck coming in threes as from my experience, and
I hated to be right but I just simply am. The third death in the
family this year. It was a cousin again, and this time it was somebody
close to my age and I grew up with. Leukemia was the bringer, and it
did not last very long for him. He succumbed soon as the symptoms
appeared. His family were trying to deny the fact, especially his
nurse sister who has been living in new york. They very well knew the
symptoms and the blotches on his skin could only mean one thing, and
they have tried and tried to get from second to fourth opinion, hoping
in vain that at least a doctor will give them a different diagnosis.
It's morbid, I know, but I did anticipate he will be the third. The
tragic thing is that he left his wife and three young children.

On the other hand, I kind of had three bad lucks of my own recently.
First, my PSP was dropped by my nephew and stopped working. And then,
a few days later, while trying to transfer the files from its memory
card to a flash disk, the memory card suddenly went out and could not
be detected anymore by the system; and it contained pictures from our
vacation in Bicol in December and also pictures from my niece's
wedding, not to mention my favorite games. And then a few days ago, my
phones stopped working one after the other. They just turned off and
never came back on. When I brought them to the service center for
repair, as I do need at least one of the phones, I have been quoted at
least PHP 1,500.00 for each phone.

Talk about bad luck.

Test 2

TEST FROM BOX.NET

77 Strings.mp3

TEST POST

This is a test post for my Box.net account, for me to share music.

Born Slippy.mp3

FIVE, SIX

It has been a few months since the transition of management of my company from it's American upper management to Indian has been complete. Our company has been acquired by a big Indian owned conglomerate. The employees of the company though, who mostly are Filipinos, have not grown accustomed to seeing Indians from the management.

It seemed this is also true the other way around-- on my way home from work early this morning, I happened to share the elevator with an Indian national. I smiled at him and he seemed undecided whether to smile back or not. When we reached the ground floor, it was only then he smiled and asked for me to go first.

The truth is that I have always been fascinated by India and it's people since I was young. You probably can blame it to such stories as Jungle Book and Secret Garden. Indians are known for their perseverance and also as hardworkers. We have a neighboring family who are full-blooded Indians but have been living here in the Philippines for several years already. Some two years ago, their home was ravaged by fire, leaving them nothing but the clothes on their back and a few thousand Pesos of savings in a bank account. They have to start from scratch all over again, and it amazes me to see that in just two years the family is almost back to their former glory. All because they pooled their efforts. If only Filipinos have the same determination.

Most Filipinos only know Indians as the people who are in the lending business fondly called five-six-- simply, the system is called five-six from the example that if you borrow five pesos you will pay six pesos for it (I wonder why not instead one-two, three-four, or even nine-ten?). These people, or any Indian for that matter, are called by Filipinos as "Bumbay", apparently with reference to Bombay or Mumbai. The word "Bumbay" has become synonymous for Filipinos to being strict and always business-like.

These people at the office are alot more different. They are from the educated and professional lot of their country. Some of my colleagues fear of what could be the the outcome of apparent move by the company to replace people from the former management with those from their country. I understand the move, not only for the fact that the new owners of the company now are Indians, but also for that Indians have been in the BPO business longer than any other country in Asia. I'm not saying the former American management then are not experienced in this industry. It should be taken into consideration that India still is considered the number one in this industry. The Philippines certainly can use their expertise to further expand the BPO business here.

The so-called colonial mentality of Filipinos could be the culprit why most employees here in our company prefer the former American management then. Filipinos indeed are more accustomed to the American culture than Indian culture. However, we may be forgetting that their presence here may also be a culture shock to them. Yes, we do have alot in common as countries-- the humid and warm weather, the love for spicy foods, the song and dance numbers in locally produced movies. But then it may be startling for them to see our fenced highways, the presence of mall and fastfood in just about every corner, and the staggering number of gay people (discreet or screaming out loud) in the Filipino workplace (hahahahaha!).

I'm sure it's not just me-- I do love Indians, and as a matter of fact I am a big fan of M. Night; and well, yeah, Kumar Patel of Harold and Kumar fame (potentially also I may love Slumdog Millionaire with so much buzz about it, but I have yet to see it). I love their perseverance, steadfast faith to their religion, and let's just say everything that Mahatma personified. They said in every Indian lives a little Mahatma, so what's not to love there? Mother Teresa couldn't possibly be wrong, could she? My opinion is that if Filipinos are to emulate a particular race, it should be none other than Indians.

India is bullish about its future as a developed country. It has strategically positioned itself in the technology world, in basically subcategories like BPO that are largely unexplored before, and emerged as a stronghold for talents and skills that are required in the global community. Philippines have only been in the business for several years and could certainly learn from India. With the acquisition of our company by the bigger conglomerate, I sort of am having a vision of the two countries helping out each other-- with India providing the knowhow, and the Philippines augmenting the need for talents and skills.

The decision of the management to sell the company was largely due to the bleak forecast for the US and global economy in the coming years. Our CEO then must have known best to have decided about it. The conglomerate certainly is at a better position to absorb any impact of the global crisis to the operation of the company until everything gets better. The name of the subsidiary of the conglomerate, true to itself, swooped in to protect the company and the thousands it employs. The economics is that it is better to lose managment of the company (and get compensated for it), than have thousands of people lose their jobs (insert here the warming "aaaaaahhhhh").

All these said and done, I think the Philippines should look at Indian BPO industry not as a competitor, but rather a partner with whom we can grow and have a song and dance number with (with M. Night directing).

Junky

I'm sorry. I tried but I couldn't just do it. It has cast its root so deep into my person over the years that I almost immediately have withdrawal not having it for even just half a day. I have amassed so much of it that I'll most likely be judged several lifetimes if it is illegal. I can't change anymore. This is one hard habit to break. Not even a rehab will mend me; I might as well be dead. Only then can I be cured of this addiction. Damn you, house music!

SLEEPLESS IN MANILA

I have gone for more than three days now without sleep. Surprisingly, though, I still am not feeling groggy nor even having double vision that are associated with lack of sleep. I am not feeling tried too. No, I'm not on drugs and never have been. It started Saturday morning after coming home from work. I'm supposed to be asleep during the day as my work is at graveyard shit. I did sleep on the way home on the bus for like half an hour or so, and then nothing more. I just lay on the bed listening to music and trying to relax my mind. I'm not thinking of anything, just laying there enjoying the music. My wife closed the blinds and drapes to simulate night time, but still I am not able to sleep. I only listen to light jazz or chillout music to relax, but still without success. A friend suggested I must be stressed out, which I thought to be strange because I normally sleep alot instead when I'm stressed out. And then again, today as I go home from work, I will be on my three-day off. Although I don't feel drowsy or anything, I sure want to rest my eyes and have a good long sleep.

SOON ON THIS BLOG: I will be installing a widget for visitors to stream house or electronic music on this blog. I just am refining the playlist for it.

GOING BACK TO TRIPHOP

On the way home from work yesterday morning, I found myself bored with the music I have on my phone. For almost two years now, I have been without a dedicated digital audio player and have been using my phones instead as I dread carrying alot of things with me. The tracks on the phone I mostly carry with me, a Sony Ericsson K800i, have not been updated for more than a year already. I have been lazy replacing the files on its memory card with those I have on the computer at home.

The phone contained mostly house music, about 100 of them, and then the other half are of mixed genre from pop to triphop. I realized the triphop songs have been on my phone since I first bought a memory card for it, but have rarely listened to them, often just skipping as one starts to play. They mostly are from my favorite triphop band- Portishead, and then several tracks also from Massive Attack and Sneaker Pimps. I decided to create a new playlist with just the triphop tracks and some ambient and chillout tracks I also have on the phone and listened to it the whole two hours of my ride home.

I first had my taste of triphop back in the heyday of Massive Attack around mid-90's. That, along with techno and mostly electronica consisted the playlists on my computer then. For a brief period in the early 90's, I was into alternative rock, especially grunge and Seattle; but have never abandoned my passion for electronic music. Then, around 1995, I discovered chillout music. I have always been drawn to the kind of melancholic/dark that chillout music sort of creates, and so I figured I should learn more about it. In the process of trying to learn more about chillout, I have uncovered a sort of subgenre darker and more melancholic than anything else i have heard, and that is triphop.

Tricky was the first band I have come to identify with triphop. Back then internet was expensive and file-sharing is virtually still in its infancy. The only source I have for feeding my crave for certain kinds of music is to ask my brother here in Metro Manila to look for CDs for me. He managed to get me CDs of Portishead and Massive Attack. At first I was more into Massive Attack, and then even Sneaker Pimps, than Portishead. When Portishead though churned out their self-titled second album, I was convinced they are the best triphop outfit there is. Their CD stayed for some months on my CD changer in my bedroom and I faithfully listened to each and every song almost every single day then. I mean it rarely happens that you would like each and every single song in an album, much more if you are somebody like me whose taste for music is diverse as one can get.

As far back as I can remember, I always have been into music, and I have grown my appetite for electronic music as a young boy when I first got hold of a cassette album by Kraftwerk. I have listened to anything from classical and traditional Celtic music to rock and electronica, with everything else in between. Rock though was kind of a favorite as I was growing up- I view it as a type of music that gets you in the gut. Then as I grow older, it unfolded to me that riffs and screams doesn't necessarily help you vent out your angst, dark and morbid melodies can too, and even more effectively. Until I saw myself veering away from youth's staple of rock and more venturing into the realm of electronic music.

My fascination with triphop peaked about 2001, when I was about to realize my dream of becoming a club DJ. That time I have both the albums considered to be the best triphop albums ever-- Portishead's self-titled and Massive Attack's Mezzanine (pictured above). Then as I landed a job being a resident DJ at a club in our town, I have more and more concentrated on House music.

As you probably have known by now, it already has been more than 2 years since I have left residency at the club I was working for, and the club itself have also closed doors shortly after I left. Still I kept up with the latest in house music. That is until recently. I have been finding myself opting to listen to radio on my commute to and from work instead of the lot of house music files I have on my phone. I was thinking before that it may be because I have just gotten tired of listening to house, as I have sworn before that in house I found the soundtrack of my lifetime. Well, I stand corrected.

FISH OUT OF WATER

I feel always like fish out of water. Never will I become part nor adapted to this life. There stands the need to be in water. Otherwise I'll perish in this strife. Hahahaha! My broken poetry sense! Geez!

SEEING RED

On the way home from my cousin's wake in Sucat near midnight last week, I decided to just take the bus as I figured traffic will not be too heavy. I took the very first aircon bus that went by near the Sucat exit from the South Superhighway. I was going through the seats to select the best location when I saw a familiar face right near very end row of the bus. He smiled at me and I was trying to remember his name, but I do know that he was on the same account I was on before at the company I work for.

He seem to have sensed me struggling for his name so he volunteered it. He was the same as before, always smiling, although he seemed sick this time and evidently he lost so much weight. I remember him being a bit on the chubby side, and let me just say that it's a far cry from how he is now. We talked for awhile about what happened with our lives since the time he left our company. Nothing has been changed with both our lives, except that he now is earning almost double than I am. He's with another call center in the south.

Everything's well, until I asked him how come he trimmed down his weight. He jokingly said it was not intentional, and that he actually is sick. I was not about to ask him what's wrong, but he said he has AIDS. The revelation almost had me falling off the seat, and he most likely noticed how surprised I was. He just chuckled and said for me not to worry as he is on medication to maintain his health. I can see he's trying to be brave disclosing me all these. AIDS is a fatal disease, and sexually transmitted most of the time nonetheless.

I have know him before to be discretely gay. Until he admits to you, you really will have no idea about his sexual preference. We go the same route even before, and the trip can be around one and a half hour duration, so we have alot of time in our hands to talk. He admitted to have been hooked into unsafe sex almost immediately after leaving our company, and that certainly was what led him to his demise. The sad thing is that his family have disowned him and he's currently living on his own. He also is afraid he may lose his job if his company finds out about his condition.

What's even more tragic is that he has two children and he used to be married too back in his province in the northern part of the Philippines. Despite having been separated, he remained friends with his ex-wife, and he continued to support his children by her. However, his ex-wife only found out he was gay when the news about him having contracted the disease spread in his hometown. Since then, he have been denied visitation nor even just to see his children as his ex-wife and her new husband moved to another place.

It may be rude, but then I was not able to hold myself back to ask him the question-- if he has regrets. He looked down and then shortly he broke into sobs, still trying to hold back his emotions. I know this is something really big, and evidently it has changed his life thoroughly. To comfort him, I patted him on his back and apologized for popping the question, and that I know it was stupid for me to ask. He lifted up his face, he smiled and still with tears asked me if I still do want to know his answer anyway. I said yes.

He said he doesn't regret anything that he has done, and whatever the consequences were for his actions. He believes we always should stand by our actions. Sex in the workplace (or outside) is always a possibility anywhere in a corporate environment. Much more in the call center industry, as most people here have liberated mindset about sex or sexuality, owing probably to the colonial mentality allowed by constant exposure to the western culture. Additionally, call centers also have the largest ratio of gay population in the workplace.

We continued to talk some more until it was finally my stop. I watched the bus roll away, filled with thoughts on really how things can change for the worst almost in an instant if you are not too careful.

BE REMINDED: AIDS DO NOT ONLY AFFLICT HOMOSEXUALS OR JUNKIES, it also can any of us.